


Bestowed a Kiss Upon My Broken Heart

by Cloud_Lightning



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-25
Updated: 2018-09-25
Packaged: 2019-07-17 08:38:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16092008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cloud_Lightning/pseuds/Cloud_Lightning
Summary: “This is what you want, isn’t?”Hawke felt like she was being charged by a bronto after reading a letter from her sister.





	Bestowed a Kiss Upon My Broken Heart

**Author's Note:**

> LOOK IM HAVING A FEELING ABOUT THAT LETTER FROM MY BABY SIS BETHANY!!! I just want her to stay alive and not die because of darkspawns or being taken by the templars! fck u!

The Hawkes has returned safely to their nest. That was a joke Varric said when Hawke purchased her mother’s family manor. The viscount even helped her by pulling some strings so she bought it half price; the house has been empty for quite a while so it wasn’t really a big loss for the city. She knew her Mother was trying to be happy, but the house was empty and big and too many rooms for Hawke’s liking, even with Sandal and Bodhan moving in.

Bethany was supposed to be here, with them, with her family.

Hawke felt like she was swallowing a Wyvern’s poison every time she tried to remember that fateful day. She was too arrogant, believing that nothing can beat them. She should just listen to her Mother and leave Bethany with her. But then the Templars would probably take her away. She didn’t know which one was worse, became a Grey Warden or being captured by the Templar.

 

_“This is what you want, isn’t?”_

 

No matter how many times she read that line, it always felt the same. It was like a Bronto hit her in the gut over and over again just like that time when Varric “accidentally” hit the team with his raining arrows because he was pissed at Isabela for draining the liquor at The Hanged Man, and the team was busy avoiding the arrows instead of helping Hawke fighting the Bronto. But now, she can’t kill the Bronto because it doesn’t exist. Well, maybe in a way it did, but she was the bronto. She let this happened to her little sister.

She just wanted her little sister alive and not having nightmares all the time. Hawke thought maybe being taken by the Templar was a slightly better choice for Bethany. But then again, it wasn’t her life and it already happened. She can’t change the past.

“Do you need anything else, Ser Hawke?” Bodhan asked.

Hawke blinked a few times, she didn’t realize she was sitting in the dining room, holding her sister’s letter. “No, thank you Bodhan,” she smiled softly. “I think I’m going to take a walk for a while.”

“Ah, night patrol?”

Hawke nodded. Even after moving to the Hightown, she can’t stop doing it. Back there it was for the money, but now, she just wanted to help Aveline and the city. It’s the least she can do. “Don’t wait up for me.”

“Of course, be careful, Ser Hawke,” Bodhan bowed his head.

“Thank you, Bodhan. Good night.”

 

* * *

 

“The clinic is…” Anders stopped talking when he saw Hawke entered the clinic.

“You need to get rest, Anders,” Hawke said as she walked inside the clinic.

“Why? So you can punch me again?” Anders asked.

Hawke shook her head. It wasn’t her finest moment, alright. But the first time she read Bethany’s letter about the nightmare, Hawke was furious. Anders didn’t tell her, didn’t tell them. So Hawke punched him, and she let him punched her back.

At that time, Hawke was wondering whether she was angry at herself and just using Anders as a punching bag.

“So you can keep healing people,” Hawke sat on the table. “You won’t do any good if you’re sick.”

“Good to know you only care for me because I’m useful,” Anders sassed.

“I’m sorry,” Hawke shook her head. “That was harsher than I meant.”

No one said anything while Anders was cleaning the clinic. He told her that there was a cat recently, and he was tempted to take her in. Not for replacing Ser Pounce-a-lot, but he just lonely sometimes.

“Does it get better?” Hawke asked.

“Well of course, I mean sure sometimes she didn’t meow back at me but…”

“I mean the nightmares.”

“No. But at least it wasn’t as bad as before the Grey Warden killed the Archdemon. At least that what was she told me.”

“I just want to save Bethany,” Hawke sighed. “I just want her to survive.”

“We all are trying to survive, Hawke.”

Hawke left without saying anything.

 

* * *

 

“And here I thought with you being back at Hightown will stop you from lurking in the shadow at night.”

Hawke laughed when she heard Aveline’s voice from behind her.

“I’m just trying to help the captain, that’s all.”

Aveline scoffed, but she smiled a little so it’s a win.

“Nothing out of the ordinary?”

“No, it’s really peaceful,” Aveline said. “I'm worried this is the calm before the storm.”

“Then we just need to build a sturdier ship, right?”

“I’m not that kind of captain, your missus is.”

Hawke chuckled.

Both of them already standing in front of the Chantry board and didn’t realize they already walked this far in silence together. There was something calming with walking at night with Aveline.

“If you can save Weasley by making him into a Grey Warden, will you do it?” Hawke asked when she finally stood face to face with Aveline.

“I wish I didn’t have to,” Aveline smiled sadly, she knew where this was going. “But if that is the only way, then I will do it.”

“Maybe I was wrong, Aveline,” Hawke mumbled. “Maybe I shouldn’t…”

“So you rather let your sister die in the Deep Roads? Or being taken by the Templars?”

“I honestly don’t know,” Hawke sighed deeply.

“You’ve done everything you could, Hawke, don’t beat yourself up.”

 

* * *

 

The Hangmen was almost empty, save few patrons currently sleeping. Isabela wasn’t here, and her room was empty. When Hawke wanted to leave, she saw Varric throwing his book to the wall and cursed.

“Having a writer problem?” Hawke asked as she entered the room.

Varric scoffed. “You wish, that book was a nightmare. I can’t believe people actually buy that book.”

“Well, not everyone has a high standard like you, Varric.”

Varric sighed and rubbed his forehead. When Hawke sat on one of his chairs, he asked. “Can’t sleep kiddo?”

Hawke shook her head. “I keep thinking about Bethany.”

Varric’s face hardens. “I promise you, we will find my son of a bitch, I’m sorry Mother, brother, and we'll kill him.”

“It won’t undo what already happened,” Hawke sighed. “And it’s going to make a new problem.”

“Well, then let me kill him,” Varric said. “I have a motive to kill him.”

“And making it harder for Aveline?” Hawke raised her eyebrow.

“I could kill him outside the city, you know,” Varric said, he put his feet at the table.

“That’s nice, but really, no killing. Unless killing him could undo what happened to my sister, then go ahead.”

The only sound from this room was the fireplace, crackling woods because the fire keeps eating them in order to stay alive.

“I’m sure there’s a way to undo it, we just haven’t found it yet.”

 

* * *

 

“Brooding while drinking isn’t enough?”

Isabela laughed when Hawke sat next to her at the pier. “Varric was having a hard time after the team he sent didn’t find anything about his brother whereabouts. So I think he could use more drink.”

“Ah, so that’s why he threw the book,” Hawke nodded to herself.

No one talked, they both just enjoying the night breeze in silence. Isabela rested her head on Hawke’s shoulder. For a rogue, Hawke sure does have strong shoulders. She should be mad at herself for doing such things, but being near Hawke made her wanted to do things she normally wouldn’t do.

“If you can change the past,” Hawke asked. “What will you change?”

“Obviously the part where I lost my ship,” Isabela answered without lifting her head.

“I wish I could go back to the past to stop the Blight from even happening.”

Isabela finally raised her head. “Hawke.”

“I keep thinking maybe it was a bad decision,” Hawke sighed.

“Maybe it was, but at least both of you had a choice back then.”

“Still not the right choice.”

“Sometimes we only get a bad choice or none at all.”

“And what about me? Am I just a bad choice?”

Isabela shook her head. “No, you’re a good choice after a dozen of bad decisions I’ve made.”

“Good save."

Isabela put her hand on Hawke’s chest. “I know you’re probably heard this a thousand times already, but you’ve done everything you could at that time. It was either let Bethany being taken by the Templar or you let her die. And we know there is no way you will let your sister die.”

“I know, I just wished I had another choice.”

“Not everyone has that kind of luxury,” Isabela said before she kissed Hawke’s chest plate.

Hawke sighed deeply and pulled Isabela into a hug.

“Maye I will visit her when I have a chance,” Hawke mumbled against Isabela’s shoulder.

“Well, you need a good ship and a good captain for that.”

Hawke pulled herself away so that she can look into Isabela’s eyes. “Thank the Maker I already got a good captain.”

“Such a sweet talker,” Isabela said before she kissed Hawke.


End file.
